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11/11/2013
Women who already have children from previous families almost always enter into a second marriage. By the way, statistics say that the probability of creating a new family for divorced women with children is only ten percent lower than for those who do not have children. Of course, with the advent of a new dad, the family becomes complete. However, with mutual understanding in such a family, many problems can arise.
Remarriage is always a combination of future and past life. However, the new family builds relationships in a new way, but there are general rules. So, mom should not be completely immersed in her personal life, completely forgetting about her baby. After all, children have an increased level of impressionability and anxiety, so it is the mother who should become reliable protection for them. Children always seek to hear the truth and do not tolerate uncertainty.
Relationships with a stepfather can be either good or bad. Their formation will depend on the sex of the child, and on his temperament. The intentions of the stepfather also play a significant role — whether he wants to build a relationship with a stranger, in fact, a baby. More than twenty percent of children will not treat their stepfather intentionally negatively. As a rule, the mood of the mother has a greater influence on the development of events — an increase in her demands for the child or, on the contrary, complete indifference to him. But care and attention will certainly contribute to the fact that the relationship will get off the ground and go smoothly.
There is one important dependence here — a warm relationship with a new husband guarantees a quick relationship with the baby. But swearing in front of a child is not worth it, as this will negatively affect his mental state. You should also not force the stepfather to be a “dad” — the child must decide for himself. Mom should not reduce the time spent with the child and should not forbid him to see his biological father, since negative emotions in this situation will be clearly superfluous.
The stepfather will be able to build normal relations with the baby much faster if he plays with him (in familiar or unusual games), does not compare his children with him, and will not talk to the child in raised tones. Naturally, assault would also be inappropriate here. It is also not necessary to remove the mother from education, causing this to be the “natural leadership” of the man in the family. If the new father is ready to take on such responsibility, then he should in no way diminish the competence and position of the mother.
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