We give birth with my husband: pros and cons

As a rule, most future dads, hav­ing only heard about part­ner child­birth, imme­di­ate­ly aban­don this idea, and rely on cen­turies-old tra­di­tions, accord­ing to which a woman gives birth in the pres­ence of a mid­wife. At the same time, it is not uncom­mon for cou­ples to go to the deliv­ery room togeth­er. If you have made such a deci­sion, then the future dad should pre­pare prop­er­ly. The hus­band should def­i­nite­ly attend preg­nan­cy cours­es with you. There he will be able to learn a lot of new infor­ma­tion on the post­par­tum peri­od in the life of your crumbs. Par­tic­u­lar atten­tion should be paid to the lec­ture on joint child­birth, which refers to the process itself, and what kind of help a man can pro­vide. More­over, the lec­ture is accom­pa­nied by a doc­u­men­tary film. A woman should also ask her hus­band for help, because no doc­tor can replace the pres­ence of a loved one. More­over, after a cae­sare­an sec­tion, the child can be laid on the father’s chest, and this will serve as the foun­da­tion for fur­ther strong rela­tion­ships.

There is also a med­ical aspect of prepa­ra­tion — before going to the deliv­ery room, the hus­band must under­go a flu­o­rog­ra­phy, pass a bac­te­r­i­al cul­ture for staphy­lo­coc­cus aureus and blood tests for hepati­tis, syphilis and HIV. You will also need a refer­ral from a ther­a­pist. In addi­tion, the hus­band will need clean clothes and shoes in order to get to the deliv­ery room.

A woman should also explain to her hus­band that the first birth can take up to 16 hours, so not only patience, but also dry rations will be required. It should also be tak­en into account that a woman dur­ing child­birth can­not look per­fect. If sud­den­ly psy­cho­log­i­cal dis­com­fort aris­es in the process, then it would be bet­ter to ask the spouse to leave the deliv­ery room. Although the hus­band’s phys­i­cal help will not be super­flu­ous — to give a mas­sage, give water, and so on.

The future dad can mas­sage the low­er back of the woman in labor, there­by pro­vid­ing opti­mal pain relief. If sud­den­ly you don’t remem­ber how to breathe cor­rect­ly, you can ask your spouse to help you — espe­cial­ly if he stud­ied this with you in cours­es.

Of course, the pres­ence of the future father should con­sist in active actions, and not in “groan­ing behind the wall.” But you should not inter­fere with doc­tors — any reproach­es are inap­pro­pri­ate here, it is much bet­ter to ask for the nec­es­sary com­ments in time. Talk­ing “about high” will also be super­flu­ous, as they will pre­vent a woman from relax­ing. Men with a weak psy­che have noth­ing to do in the deliv­ery room, because obste­tri­cians do not need anoth­er patient who sud­den­ly faint­ed.

Every man accom­pa­ny­ing his wife to child­birth must under­stand that they are divid­ed into three peri­ods:

- con­trac­tions, that is, prepara­to­ry mus­cle con­trac­tions, last­ing about 10–12 hours. This is where mas­sage and psy­cho­log­i­cal sup­port will be need­ed,

- Attempts can last about an hour. Here, the hus­band can dupli­cate the rec­om­men­da­tions of the med­ical staff, because the woman will per­ceive the voice of a loved one bet­ter. Do not for­get about prop­er breath­ing,

- the appear­ance of the pla­cen­ta. At this moment, the young father will already be busy, enthu­si­as­ti­cal­ly exam­in­ing his baby, but the woman in labor will have to work a lit­tle more. How­ev­er, the final stage of child­birth is one of the most euphor­ic.

Accord­ing to many doc­tors, the pres­ence of a loved one dur­ing child­birth pro­vides the woman in labor with peace and com­fort, and also gives her con­fi­dence. Yes, and doc­tors in this case will approach the process more respon­si­bly. After giv­ing birth, you can take the so-called fam­i­ly room or shoot a touch­ing video about the first min­utes of your baby’s life. By the way, part­ner child­birth is not a paid ser­vice and demands to pay for it are ille­gal.

Of course, such an idyll is pos­si­ble only if the desire to give birth togeth­er is mutu­al. Coer­cion is dif­fi­cult to achieve any­thing, and in this case it will be redun­dant. If a woman can­not imag­ine the birth of a baby with­out the pres­ence of a loved one, then you can ask your moth­er, sis­ter or a friend who has giv­en birth — in gen­er­al, find some­one else who will agree to accom­pa­ny you to the deliv­ery room and pro­vide the nec­es­sary sup­port. For­tu­nate­ly, today most mater­ni­ty hos­pi­tals only wel­come such ini­tia­tives.