Often, upon reach­ing a cer­tain age, chil­dren begin to ask their par­ents to “buy a sis­ter or broth­er.” Of course, most often a sec­ond preg­nan­cy is planned in advance, so par­ents can deter­mine the desired age dif­fer­ence between chil­dren.

How­ev­er, this issue should also be tak­en into account the opin­ion of psy­chol­o­gists. The option with chil­dren-weath­er is con­sid­ered the most con­tro­ver­sial. No doubt, chil­dren with such an age dif­fer­ence will have many com­mon inter­ests, but the com­pe­ti­tion for parental love will also be strong here. When the first child enters the cri­sis of the age of three, he should not be lim­it­ed in parental atten­tion — so a dif­fer­ence of three years is con­sid­ered the most unfa­vor­able. If you decide to “buy a sec­ond” dur­ing this peri­od, you can get pro­nounced protests from the old­er child — this can be both direct­ed aggres­sion and fre­quent ill­ness­es. But a baby at the age of four or five years is able to become an ide­al broth­er (or sis­ter). It is at this age that the baby under­stands one truth — his moth­er always loves him, even if he is not around. It is even eas­i­er for an old­er child to accept “replen­ish­ment” — at the age of sev­en or eight years, the child will will­ing­ly babysit the younger one. How­ev­er, a large age dif­fer­ence will lead to a lack of com­mon inter­ests among the chil­dren, so that par­ents will have to per­ceive their chil­dren sep­a­rate­ly.

Much depends on how you tell the child the news of the appear­ance of the youngest mem­ber of the fam­i­ly. A good way would be to play with dolls, where par­ents can sim­u­late a sim­i­lar sit­u­a­tion. When shop­ping for a new­born, do not for­get about replen­ish­ing toy “stocks” for an old­er child. Do not also sac­ri­fice the inter­ests of the first-born when plan­ning a nurs­ery — espe­cial­ly if he already has a per­son­al ter­ri­to­ry.

For the peri­od while you are in the hos­pi­tal, enlist the sup­port of rel­a­tives. Also, do not pull the old­er child out of his usu­al envi­ron­ment by orga­niz­ing extra­or­di­nary vaca­tions for him. The appear­ance of a new­born should also not serve as a rea­son for reduc­ing com­mu­ni­ca­tion with the elder.

By Yraa

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